Everyone has their opinion of couchsurfing I like to use Couchsurfing while still having my own place to stay to meet locals in a city that I’m visiting, hear some interesting stories, try some local favorites, and most importantly, have an experience that makes me want to go back.
I go through some Couchsurfing safety tips as well as specifics on how to find awesome people to meet up with on short notice as well as when/what to message to find someone who will show you around the city you’re visiting!
Contents
- 1 Why meeting up using couchsurfing is awesome
- 2 Experiences that I’ve had with couchsurfing
- 3 What kind of local experiences for meet-ups are typical?
- 4 How to stay safe using couchsurfing & Tips for using couchsurfing
- 5 How do you find a good host using Couchsurfing
- 6 Who do you decide to meet-up with using Couchsurfing?
- 7 What to look for in a good couchsurfing host
- 8 How/When do you message people on Couchsurfing
- 9 What to say in the message?
- 10 How many messages to send!?
- 11 What do Couchsurfers think of the idea?
- 12 What do you think of Couchsurfing? Have you tried something similar and are you willing to try it?
Why meeting up using couchsurfing is awesome
Most Couchsurfers have jobs that mean that they can’t host most of the time. Plus, most active members really try to put themselves out there for their guests. Messaging someone about meeting up after work for a couple hours is a great way to meet a local, learn about their culture, have some good food/drinks without the commitment of staying over, stress of finding a Couchsurfing host, and without them needing to really put themselves out there for you.
Often, people who have cut back on Couchsurfing due to being busy at work are thrilled to meet-up with a traveler to show them their city.
Couchsurfing is best if you want a traveling experience where you interact constantly with your host, but it’s not good for trips when you want more time to yourself as your hosts often want to get to know you during your trip.
I have Couchsurfed and been a host, but sometimes I really want more private time, so I rather not have constant interaction with my host. In this case, I get my own place, so others have a place to stay while I get my Netflix time in.
CS has some downsides: I’ve heard/read stories of uncomfortable encounters. I won’t spend time with someone who doesn’t respect my boundaries and me. If you feel uncomfortable around someone or something adverse occurs, leave. Listen to your gut. Do not be afraid to contact the police.
Experiences that I’ve had with couchsurfing
I’ve ran the gamut from meeting up for what turned out to be a free lunch with some female Ph.D students in Trento at their favorite sandwich place, met up for an all-night adventure wandering around Verona enjoying the history before going to an award-winning pizzeria outside of the city, met up for an incredible homemade Southern Italian meal (and culture lesson!) with friends of my couchsurfing host, and cooked dinner with a Ph.D student in Physics in Trento before discussing photography/rock climbing.
I’ve also exchanged tips with some Couchsurfers about their favorite places to eat/hang out. I’ve also met friends via meet-ups as well as hosted travelers in my own apartment. I made a close friend by hosting her, who introduced me to even more awesome Couchsurfers when we traveled together to Italy/Hungary.
Since then, I’ve Couchsurfed quite a few times: solo, with my husband, and with friends. I’ve had some amazing experiences, including one night of sharing wine while watching fireworks with my host, her friends, and my friend (Karin from Girl Astray).
What kind of local experiences for meet-ups are typical?
It’s really up to you. If you’re new to this, meet for coffee or propose a short walk around the historic city center after work (5pm+). I typically propose a walk around the historic city centre since the locals often know interesting stories and a few hidden places.
(FYI: Many hosts in busy areas like to get coffee with Couchsurfers in the area as a way of meeting them before inviting them into their home, so don’t be alarmed if you’re offered a place to stay.)
If you’re feeling adventurous, propose meeting for a meal (lunch or dinner if you’re feeling like you’ll really hit it off!) or after-work drinks in a central location. The downside is that a meal lasts a lot longer than a quick meeting, so if you’re not enjoying yourself, it’s a bit harder to leave.
If you have a hobby that can be practiced in your new place, mention it. I actually proposed rock climbing at a nearby gym with one of the Couchsurfers I met up with, but we did dinner instead.
How to stay safe using couchsurfing & Tips for using couchsurfing
This is still a stranger, although a hopefully well-vetted stranger who you’ll have things in common with. So, be smart. Tell a friend what you’re doing ahead of time and have the phone number of a taxi available along with the address of where you’re staying. Mary at Tiny Lady Big World wrote a really great post about safety on Couchsurfing for beginners that I liked a lot.
If you feel even the smallest bit uncomfortable, leave. There’s no obligation to spend time with them. That’s the beauty of this way is that it allows you an easy out.
- If you’re polite, say you need to go skype/call your family or your significant other (real or not). If you have texting/calling, there’s no shame in asking a friend to call/text you as an reason to leave. Just saying that you have plans later on and need to get back is usually enough.
Remain in a public place/venue/cafe. Try to remain fairly close to where you’re staying as it makes it easier to get back afterwards
Define your boundaries and tell your host. I hate that I need to write this, but some people will not respect your boundaries. I find that saying that I have a boyfriend and that I’m just interested in learning about the city/culture/the person (not anything more) is quite effective even if you don’t have a significant other. I had a host lightly flirt/compliment me when we first met, but he stopped immediately after I mentioned a significant other.
A more general point: If you don’t feel like they’re respecting your boundaries, leave. It goes to the other way and you need to be a good guest as well.
Depending on how you’re getting around/public transit, it’s good to be aware of when the public transit shuts off, how to get back (via offline maps), and roughly how far your accommodations are.
Always have the number of a local taxi as well as the address of where you’re staying. In my experience, my Couchsurfing hosts have almost always offered to walk/drive me back, but if you just want to go, it’s good to be able to get out of their ASAP if you’re not feeling safe.
How do you find a good host using Couchsurfing
I often join the largest group for the city/region that I’m in. I don’t use the hangouts feature and not everyone in there has references. For instance, I joined the Trento Couchsurfing group.
Then, I’ll look through the profiles of the moderators as they’re often the most active/engaged members of Couchsurfing. If I’m not seeing anyone that I feel like I would get along who are active, I just search for hosts in the area. Then I put on the following filters:
- Has references
- Private room or public room [NO SHARED BEDS]
- Accepting Guests/Wants to Meet Up/Maybe Accepting Guests
- Login-in in the last month
You might want to tweak are the gender of the person depending on your comfort zone, the radius from the city (especially if you’re in city centre since it makes it easier to meet up), and the language depending on your native tongue. The Verified box doesn’t mean too much besides someone verifying their address, so you can ignore it.
Who do you decide to meet-up with using Couchsurfing?
What to look for in a good couchsurfing host
The last time they logged in. Look for someone who has logged in within the past month at minimum, if not two weeks. Response rate is important as you need someone who responds in time.
What you have in common/their interests. If you have nothing in common, it won’t be any fun.
- The profile below is of a real Couchsurfer who I’d meet up with as I admittedly love discussing literature and board games. The last Couchsurfer I met up with was an academic who loved to rock climb and who was very into photography, so we had a fantastic time just talking.
Their references – The key into their personality and how they treat their guests
- Look for 20+ references . It’s an arbitrary cut-off, however it’s a good guide to finding people who love Couchsurfing and are welcoming to travelers. As some girls have pointed out, having 100+ references doesn’t guarantee anything, but it’s a good start.
- A filled out profile is always nice.
- Be very critical of people with less than 10 references, mostly from friends. Zero reference is a no go.
- Photo necessary. More than 2 preferable.
- For men, I carefully read their interactions with female guests, especially solo female travelers. If I see a winky face or a flirtatious exchange, I close their page. Besides the fact I’m in a relationship, I don’t want to be put in a bad/uncomfortable situation, so I rather not even put myself in that situation. If a guy exclusively hosts only women, I’m always pretty skeptical of him and his motives, so skip as well.
- If someone writes that the preferred/only place to stay with them is in their bed or has more than one winky face in their profile, just close out their profile immediately. If they mention the option to stay in their bed, nope.
- Do not meet up with someone with negative references and avoid people with neutral references
Languages in common. If you don’t have a language in common, it’s going to be difficult.
How/When do you message people on Couchsurfing
It’s often better to do a couchsurfing request since they’re more likely to get a notification and response faster. Messaging is okay, but some people never respond.
Since it’s typically a last-minute thing since most people (especially on Couchsurfing) don’t really know their plans until that week, I wait until 1-2 days before. Try to send a message at night since most people don’t check Couchsurfing unless they’re home. I try to get in touch the day of our meeting to make sure we’re still on.
What to say in the message?
Personalize the message if you have a shared interest, but I typically write something along these lines sent to a Couchsurfer I met up with (who loves history) and have since stayed with:
Dear X,
I was wondering If you were available to meet up tomorrow. I am staying in Verona by myself and I’d love to meet other CSers. I already have a place to stay, but a walk around City or a drink would be great. Parle un poco language!
Let me know,
Y
Hi Annie,
I’m visiting Belfast this upcoming week. I don’t need anywhere to stay as I’ll be staying at one of the hostels in Center, but you sound cool and I’d love to have a craft beer with you. I’m a craft beer fanatic myself. I’ll be arriving as of the 31st of October and staying in Belfast until the 4th before heading to another city. My schedule is 100% open. Let me know if you’re free next week and I’d love to meet up if you are. 🙂 Thanks,
Karen
Now Couchsurfing has a Hangouts feature, so you can see who’s close to you. I’ve tried it out, but I have mixed feelings about it as people can see your location and even people without references can message you, so be careful.
How many messages to send!?
Two days before: I usually message 3 people I really want to meet up with. If they don’t respond within 24-36 hours, I’ll message another 2-5 people the day before depending on how much I want to be social and if it’s my last night in a city.
I’ve also gotten quite lucky messaging people the morning of although I’ve needed to send more messages (5-8 messages) as people often have plans.
What do Couchsurfers think of the idea?
They often love it and wish more people did it since it’s a great way to meet people as they’re often busy and it’s a nice way to stay involved with Couchsurfing.
A lot of them are really passionate about showing their communities to travelers, so they enjoy the chance without needing to really show someone around for 1+ days. More often, they’re sad that we won’t get to spend more time together (especially if I’m not there long), but it can be a great opportunity to make new friends.
What do you think of Couchsurfing? Have you tried something similar and are you willing to try it?
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I can’t believe that I have still to try out couchsurfing but this post gives me a lot of encouragement to do it – great tips here on how to find a host, I guess it’s just a mental block in many people’s case whereby staying in another persons home is considered “weird”!…I know it’s my though
Derek, I did this when I was first a Couchsurfing newbie and it changed my view on it entirely as I felt the same way. I still don’t feel too great about staying in someone else’s home when it’s just me unless I’m staying with a couple or a woman, however it’s definitely worth trying out.
The nice thing about this technique is that you don’t need to go to their house. You just meet-up, see if you get along, and if not, you leave. Minimal risk besides the cost of coffee. 😉
I’d recommend trying it out in a city that you’ve been to once or twice before as it’s a great way to see the city in a whole new light (especially if you’ve seen the main sites) and make new friends. I Couchsurfed close to where I lived in the US and I had an amazing night seeing the locals’ side of Pittsburgh. I still stay in touch with the girls I stayed with!
I just joined Couchsurfing a few weeks ago, and I joined some of the local groups to meet like-minded people who live near me. This is a great idea next time I’m traveling though!
Thanks Casey! Couchsurfing is great for this and I’ve made a number of friends through meet-ups! Interested to hear your experiences trying this while traveling!
I love the idea of couchsurfing but I’m not sure how that would work with a large family. We’ve never couchsurfed through the official network but we did once do a 2 week, cross-country road trip where we stayed with friend or friends of friends for the duration. About half of the people we stayed with were strangers to us. It was fun but it does take a lot out of you, socially.
Jessica, I feel the same about Couchsurfing. I’ve been a host, a guest, and used it many more times to meet people. As much as I am social, it’s a bit exhausting to be social the whole time.
I can’t really say for couchsurfing. I’ve definitely seen some hosts who have families where other CSs rave about their kids and there is an option that you can search for on the host search/member search for kid-friendly and kids at home. 🙂
This makes me trust the whole couch surfing site a little more again. I’ve heard so many bad stories from friends. Not only from the visitor side, but also from being a host. Apparently some people that come stay with them have been truly horrible, leaving a mess, being rude, bringing loads of other people into their home without asking first! This is probably one of the main reasons that I never used the service I guess.
Hi Anne, Yeah, I actually was a host when I lived alone in grad school for single women looking for another girl to stay with (I was one of the few although I only had a couch in my studio!). I felt like it was a good experience the three times that I hosted although one girl definitely just used my place to crash after the conference. The other two have become people I actually stay in touch with. I’ve actually become close friends with my first couchsurfer to the point that we actually took a trip together where I stayed with a CSer who stayed with her and we met up with her other CS guest in Venice, who showed us around the entire time.
I take the approach of when I’ve hosted, I do everything in my power to show them a good time and always be available if they want to be social, but I get not everyone is looking for that. I’ve also heard the opposite about messiness, feeling used, and just rudeness. I mean, hosting on CS is something that I really respect people for, especially if they do it a lot, however, doing it often is something that I don’t think I could do without having a large house.
The get-togethers can be nice and I met my first Dutch friend (who I briefly crashed with when we were looking for a place to live) at a Couchsurfing party in the US oddly enough. My feeling is that if you use Couchsurfing in a way to meet/connect with others, it can be a good thing, but it’s still the internet.
Hey Karren,
thank you for sharing your honest experiences and tipps. I participated into Couchsurfing several times and made for the most part good experiences – but unfortunately, just for the most part.
On the one hand, it’s a great opportunity to get to know people from different countries. To get a real insight of another culture or to discover secret spots that would be hard to find as a simple tourist.
On the other hand, one never knows how the person is in real life. Even if you read all the references. I had a guy who had over 100 positives references, but turned out to be a bit choleric in the end. There was also another one, who tried to kiss me – so it’s true that not only, but especially as a woman, you should definitely always listen to your inner feelings. It’s good that you mentioned oftentimes, that one should always leave as soon one feels uncomfortable.
But I also found many great friends through couchsurfing. It’s also beautiful to know that one always has a place to go to on the other side of the world. 🙂
Mimi
Hi Mimi, sorry to hear about the for the most part. :/ I totally agree about the not knowing what someone is like in real life. I’ve been quite lucky as both as a host, guest, and user of Couchsurfing so far, however I’ve heard enough stories to not expect it, which is why I really wanted to emphasize that leaving is always an option in this post. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t like the fact that if something goes wrong when you’re couchsurfing with someone, you need to find a new place to stay. This is how I ended up the idea in the post.
I have met some fantastic friends through Couchsurfing as well and so far, I’ve only re-visited one yet. Hopefully more soon!
What a fantastic idea! I never thought of meeting locals (and fellow travelers) like this. Will definitely have to try this!
Great insight on couchsurfing! I’ve never used it but love my alone time so don’t think I’d want to interact with my hosts lol But to use it to meet locals, how cool!
Hi Sarah, I think it definitely depends on the person. Couchsurfing requires a substantial social investment on the behalf of both host/guest, which is something I’m not always looking for when I’m traveling. However, when you’re feeling lonely or spontaneous, this can be a lot of fun before you go back to enjoying your alone time. Let me know if you try it and how it goes!
Great tips! Haven’t tried couchsurfing yet so this is a good resource!
An informative post giving lots of handy tips! I’ve not considering couchsurfing until quite recently so this will come in useful!
I feel the same way! I use my CS profile to meet people only. In the rare chance that I need to stay with someone, I 100000% choose women and women with friends in common over random men.
great insight!
I love your post and the warnings up front. I think I might do it myself too. Do you feel like it’s better to try it in large cities or smaller ones? Do you also sometimes leave a general message in the group you’ve joined or do you really only approach the people directly?
Naomi, thanks so much. I mean, when you endorse something that involves meeting up with strangers from the internet and that is rather infamous within the female traveler community, it’s only fair to have the warnings up front, so someone knows what they’re getting into. Definitely let me know how it goes once you do!
The main times that I’ve done in were in moderate sized cities, but I’ve used it in a smaller city to a great result. I had an AMAZING night out with my couchsurfing host, her roommate, and her roommate’s boyfriend where they even took me to an after hours party before I took a red-eye flight at 5am! I don’t think it really matters how large the city is, just that there’s at least a few people that you’re interested in meeting up with as even within the small city I lived in, there were a bunch of active couchsurfers happy to meet-up with the couchsurfing guest that I was hosting (who wanted to meet others).
I tried the way of posting on the group message board, but the response was slower and I wasn’t as keen in meeting up with the people who responded as a lot of them had fewer reviews. I felt like directly messaging the people who felt like I’d click with worked a lot better and it allowed me to select based on the people who I’d be comfortable meeting up with.
What a great strategy using couch surfer to meet people, not just to find a place to sleep! As a solo female trailer myself, I too have qualms about using couch surfing.com but next time I’ll use it just to connect.
Wow what a comprehensive , detailed and well written article about Couchsurfing. Having tried it in various countries to meet people, I am in BIG favor of using it . I have also “Stayed over” a couple of times but only after meeting my host over drinks/coffee beforehand. If we “click”, I don’t mind spending ,maximum 2 nights over.
Jo, I think that is a really great strategy for finding a host as I think so many people are so keen on finding a place to stay that they don’t think too much about whether they click with the person and they feel comfortable with them. I think 2 nights is a good maximum honestly as a longer period can be a bit much, but it depends on the person of course.
I actually ended up couchsurfing with one of the surfers that I met through this way this past year. I’m a fan of couchsurfing, but increasingly, I enjoy seeing who I meet in my travels and using it only if I feel like I’m not being social/missing out on the local experience. Thanks so much for the compliment about the writing!
Great post! I love couch surfing! I have used it all over Europe and had the experience of a lifetime!!! 🙂
I usually host people, rather than being hosted, so this was interesting for me! Thanks for a great read!
Hi Hannah, I’ve been on both sides although I don’t host anymore. Glad to hear it was interesting for you!
I totally agree with all the tips you posted here!
I’ve used couchsurfing for everything: as a local to meet travelers in my area, as a traveler to meet locals, as a host and as a guest. I can totally say that my best experiences have been meeting up people. I have met very good friends all over the world. I even have a link to my Couchsurfing profile on my blog so people can know Im definitely commited to it.
And I understand your points on having troubles with male hosts. Fortunately, I have never gone through that, because most of the times (and yeah, it also happened to me in Italy) these male host are direct with their intentions so, I won’t even try there! But I know a story of this guy in Puerto Rico who only hosted girls (he invited them!) and some times, these girls found themselves in pretty hard situations and did not have any other choice than accept his requests! I find that story so nasty that Im always warning people who come here about rhis user!
I also mentioned a few days ago that, without looking forward to it, Couchsurfing has been an amazing app to hook up. Meeting great people woth whom to connect can really help to make deeper ties. Once again, I wouldn’t recommend anyone to use Couchsurfing as a dating app, but to be open to any possibilities because actually you will have the opportunity to meet a lot of amazing people!
Hi Brenda, Thanks for your feedback. It’s good to get some couchsurfing veterans posting on this! I’ve seen on Couchsurfing about guys who seek out/only accept female travelers, but it makes me uncomfortable. In particular, it bothers me because for the situation to be okay, your intentions have to match up with your hosts. Even then, it can go wrong, which leaves the guest in a precarious situation due to the power imbalance where the host has the power to kick you out of your place to stay and it can just be uncomfortable. This is why I think it’s good to try to keep Couchsurfing a place that is non-romantic, but that’s my view.
I personally wouldn’t couch surf (way too old!) but I think these are handy tips for people who do. It didn’t even occur to me as a way to meet people. Some good ideas!
This is cool!! I’ve never couchsurfed because, like you, I tend to be a solo traveller but I never thought of using it as a way to meet up with new people. Great post!!
I never thought of signing up for Couchsurfing because it is not something I am very comfortable with. Even when I use Airbnb, I looked for whole houses. My friend and I will be doing our first “private room” Airbnb soon.
After reading your post though, I may sign up for this exact reason, to meet locals. It is such a good idea and you have some very helpful advice. Funny story, my cousin used Tinder in Hawaii to meet locals to show her around – she let them know ahead of time her intention was only to meet locals and make friends, nothing more.
Jojo, I totally understand. I was super skeptical at first, but I love this since it really gives you control over what you want to do–and who you want to spend time with (which is not always the case even if you stay in a hostel). The added plus: even if you travel solo, you STILL can go out and have a great time, which I always uncomfortable doing in a city that I don’t know. Glad you enjoyed it and happy travels. 🙂
I LOVE this post! SUPER informative and a great way to use couch surfing that many people don’t consider. I’m definitely going to use this while traveling this summer. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Hi Karen,
I am a 30 year old man from the UK. I am visiting Barcelona (my first time) for a weekend. And i have a question i am worried about, I thought I would message people too see if they wanted to hang out. I have been speaking to a girl solo traveller and she seems really nice. However she wanted me to book the same hostel as her (Unite Hostel Barcelona) which 1) i am a bit worried if it is a genuine hostel and 2) she asked if she could wait for me, at the airport (her flight arrivess 3 hours earlier) as she is worried to travel by herself, then get a taxi to the hostel. I know I am a man, and she is a harmless young lady (i feel a bit strange being worried, as I am a man, as its not normal for men to worry). Do you think this is legit friendship, or do any alarm bells ring? Many thanks
Hi Ash,
This all sounds very strange to me. I would book my own hostel and just let her know that you are happy to meet-up after you’re both settled at a public location. I’m sure you’ll find others to meet-up with who have fewer demands
Kind regards,
Karen